So go back in time to 9am this morning, classic boring lockdown Wednesday laid ahead of us, and we’re in bed deciding what to do with the day. I’m in Derbyshire right now living with my boyfriend and his parents for a few weeks before we go back to work for the foreseeable future, literally in the middle of nowhere, and the snow here at the moment is second to only the Alps. And I’ve been wanting to sledge for oh I don’t know ANY DAY WHERE THERE IS ANY SNOW!!
Bit of background for you, I am a ski lover. I’m talking holidays every year when I was literally, uni Snowsports team captain, got my own skis and boots - legit lover of mountains and snowy fun. And lest we forget we are in a pandemic, so no ski holidays have been had for 2 years. To say I am pissed off us an understatement So when I see snow, even the lightest dusting, I am desperate to get out there and sledge. Another stinger was that when I had covid in December, it snowed so heavily at home it would’ve been perfect, but I was stuck inside isolating and couldn’t go out and have snowy fun. I actually cried at one point because I couldn’t go out and sledge but don’t tell anyone.
Back to this morning, I know there is a sledge at my boyfriends grandparents garage that we can sneak to get, and I know we’re in literally the perfect place for sledging.
And then, the most heartbreaking thing came out of my boyfriends mouth.
“But Em, don’t you think we’re a little old for sledging?”
I don’t think I’ve ever felt worse about myself, or more annoyed at him. Too old?! I’m only 23... Yes okay when I went on Amazon all the sledges were advertised for ”kids”, and yes admittedly I hadn’t seen any grown adults sledging recently unless they had children with them, but that wasn’t going to stop me.
I definitely have that thing where you’re scared of getting too old for stuff - I was always the type that looked like a scrotum; I didn’t know what mascara was until I was 11 and even then I only used it for school plays until I was about 15. I dressed young, didn’t do make up, didn’t do anything that would make me look or feel older than I am, not like some of the kids I look after nowadays. Even when I was thinking about changing my career I was afraid I was too late and I’d missed the boat; that I’m too old for change. So to be told by someone I care about so much, that I'm too old to do something... that hit me where it hurts.
So I sulked for a bit, wallowing in my age, waiting for him to feel guilty and take it back. Until I thought about it and realised that me being upset by that is ridiculous - in fact I am the perfect age to be sledging! I don't have to ask my mum if I can go; I can buy my own sledge with my own money that I earned from my own proper adult job; I can go as fast as I want wherever I want; and I can go with my proper grown up boyfriend and have that romantic movie fun like in 'The Holiday'... if they sledge in that film I don't even know.
And guess what, he came out thinking we were too old and we would be bored, and we ended up having one of the best days ever. Fuck age, fuck any idea that you're ever too old for anything. Just go for that sledge, you'll have the most fun ever.
Comments